mad celebrities

8 Celebrities We Hope Find Love in 2008

Celebrities: they’re not bad, they’re just misunderstood. Their antics are just a cry for help, and they’ve probably already made their 2008 resolutions to find love.

1. Britney Spears. Britney Spears needs someone good for her more than any other celebrity right now, including Amy Winehouse. At least Wino has her hubby, albeit behind bars for awhile. Maybe Britney was flashing an S.O.S. with her vajajay?

2. Michael Jackson. Maybe Michael Jackson can get it on with Britney. Excuse me while I retch in the corner. Then again, how much weirder is that than when he was with Lisa Marie Presley?

3. Lindsay Lohan. By the looks of it, Lindsay Lohan has found love already, and again, and again - caught kissing with three different men in one full day.

4. Paris Hilton. Paris Hilton flits around from boyfriend to boyfriend. She tries a new one almost everyday, as if sampling the day’s soup special. She needs a strong man to set her straight. (Unlike Britney, who needs someone kind and caring.)

5. Pam Anderson. Yeah, I know Pam Anderson is currently married, but she’s not happy, judging by the fact that she already filed for divorce after three months of marriage to Rick Salomon - then changed her mind. Whomever she lands next, let’s hope it’s not another jealous rockstar.

6. Kevin Federline. Well maybe not. He’s got enough kids already. I mean, Paris likes him, even though he stopped her flat. Maybe it’s because he heard she’s not getting her inheritance?

7. Carmen Electra. Something about Carmen Electra always made me feel like she was a girl next door. Next door to the Playboy mansion, that is. I think she’s runout of guys with big woohoos to date. So maybe she’ll start dating paparazzi like Britney. Or bloggers.

8. Ann Coulter. On second thought, no. I pity the fool that marries this bag of extreme right-wing, intolerant hatred. (Maybe she’s already married, but I can’t fathom it.)